When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky.
All was golden when the day met the night.
When the moon found the sun, he looked like he was barely hanging on, but her eyes saved his life.
In the middle of summer, all was golden in the sky.
All was golden when the day met the night.
January 4th my life improved. Tosha, Seth’s aunt is pretty much just like my family now. She’s as close to me as I am to her and it’s a wonderful relationship we share. She has a daughter, Nohie Eliza-Gale McDaniel, and she is beautiful. She turned one on the fourth. Of course, it being Seth’s niece he was at the party. I was civil, more than civil. We had casual conversation and near the end of the party he asked if I’d like to hang out. I said yes, after consulting Tosha. He said he needed to talk to me about some things.
We went back to his house, which flooded my mind with happy memories and almost brought tears to my eyes. Jesus, just the sound of his five-speed always made my stomach jump into immediate fits of fluttering butterflies when I would stay at Tosha’s and hear him go by. We went to his room and started a movie. We talked about a lot of things. The night he broke up with me the final time, he was drunk and had backslid and had a breakdown and was afraid. I was the longest girlfriend he’s ever had, and the only one he’s actually loved. We spoke about my feelings on the matter, how he hurt me so severely with the things he did. We’re talking every day on the phone now. We are not in a relationship again as of yet. We are taking things slow. He’s matured. He now has a job where he is an iron-worker and brings home nine hundred dollars every two weeks. That is a large improvement from Subway. He’s grown, I can tell just by his demeanor and his mentality has changed. When his mother asks what will happen if he starts to feel the fear of commitment again he says and I quote, “Suck it the fuck up and get over it because I love her and I know I need her.” What he doesn’t know is that I need him just as much. I’ve worked on my clingy nature, and I can even tell I’m getting better about over-smothering and such. We shall see what happens. For the first time in almost half a year, I am happy.
Just Jo Ann.
11 responses so far ↓
anonymous // January 8, 2009 at 5:11 pm |
The trail you are walking will only lead to doom.
seneca // January 9, 2009 at 12:04 am |
Honey,
This is a time of learning.
It’s very good to experience things, including reconciliation.
Please give one another a break. You are both good people, learning about life and relationships.
There are NO healthy relationships where one of the parties relies on alcohol or drugs.
By trying to get a relationship that works, you’ll get better at it, and eventually get one that does work. Maybe it’s this one.
MikeyLove
seneca // January 22, 2009 at 8:59 am |
I so love how you began this piece!
I love the imagery.
May your days continue golden!
MikeyLove
seneca // January 22, 2009 at 9:03 am |
My personal credo is that one may live the wrong life if one is able to write about it properly.
I am so desperately trying to learn how to write!
MikeyLove
seneca // February 12, 2009 at 6:25 am |
We didn’t even have a fight!
MikeyLove
seneca // February 19, 2009 at 11:42 pm |
Do I know you?
seneca // April 4, 2009 at 7:26 am |
It’s been three months, honey.
justjoann // September 11, 2009 at 3:48 pm |
I lost internet Seneca. My life’s been hectic. I’m a senior in high school now and everything seems to be going just fine I suppose. I don’t really know though so, yeah. I apologize for being absent for so long. Seth and I broke up, but I’m happy about it. Once again, apologies.
seneca // September 11, 2009 at 4:32 pm |
Hi Buddy,
Look at how beautifully you wrote the beginning of this post last January. That beauty is within you.
Learning and growing is Life. It’s all okay.
I’ve got a really good live-in girlfriend (Bonnie). She’s in graduate school. Alcohol and weed may destroy our relationship and may destroy her succeeding in graduate school. Time will tell.
I haven’t blogged much lately either. I blame it on my bad relationship with Lucky (the last live-in girlfriend), but really I’m to blame.
MikeyLove
justjoann // September 19, 2009 at 3:34 am |
Well, Mikeylove, I miss you to death and I hope things do finally work out between you and Bonnie. Perhaps she’ll learn that her life will be better without the multitudes of alcohol and drugs. I do still drink a bit but it’s nothing major, just social stuff. Either way, I don’t do drugs any more, I figured out I didn’t like the person I was becoming, so I fixed it. Seth and I are no longer together and it’s better for me.
I’ll tell you more soon. Perhaps I’ll post.
Love,
Your buddy.
seneca // September 19, 2009 at 4:51 pm |
JoAnnyLove,
It’s best to get rid of drugs totally. I’m proud of you!
I don’t understand why some think it’s good to deal with life through a brain altered by chemicals.
I may have lost Bonnie, hopefully temporarily. A guy named Vince, a 420 buddy, has come between us. She’s with him constantly. She still lives here and we still get along, but things are different now.
She starts school on the 28th. We’re on the quarter system. Hopefully, that will cause her to give up 420 and maybe even Vince. Who knows?
I need to focus on making myself a better person and on doing the right thing.
MikeyLove